The more desperate you are for something, the more you push it away. The key is to find balance and let go of control.
I know most of you are working hard to be the best version of yourself, whether financially, career wise, physically, spiritually or all of the above. And do you know how I know that you’re working hard, Well, it’s because you’re here, you clicked on this blog post. That is all the evidence I need, and do you know what happens to hard workers? They get results, they always get results. No matter what the results are or in what quantity, there is always an outcome.
Let me guess! You have been having a little fear that things might not go the way you want them to, or that all your hard work might be in vain etc… These feeling are valid especially when you desperately need something to work out for you, you start obsessing over the outcome, living the dream in your head before it even manifests into reality and get absorbed in thinking rather than doing.
But here is the thing about obsession! it is greatly intertwined with desperation. When you become desperate you live in a state of constant anxiety, worry and scarcity. This limits you from your desires. We want to achieve our goals so bad and so we use the end goal as motivation but there is a thin line between being motivated and wanting something from a scarcity point. This mindsets puts us in a scarcity mindset and it becomes impossible to attract all our desires when we live with this mindset.
What does it mean to obsess over the outcome?
Obsessing over the outcome means fixating on the end result of a situation or task, rather than focusing on the present moment and the actions needed to achieve it. As much as a clear goal or destination is required to take active steps to achieve that goal or reach that destination, constantly thinking and obsessing that disrupt that goal. When you want things too desparately, you tend to push them away.
How to know you are obsessing over the outcome
You might be obsessing over the outcome if you find yourself constantly worrying about what could happen instead of enjoying what is happening. Here are some signs:
- Frequent “What If” Thoughts: You’re often caught up in questions like, “What if I fail?” or “What if things don’t go as planned?” instead of focusing on what you’re doing right now.
- Feeling Overwhelmed by Anxiety: Your concern about the final result causes stress or anxiety, making it hard to relax or feel at peace with the present.
- Perfectionism: You’re aiming for a perfect outcome and feel frustrated or disappointed when things aren’t going exactly as imagined.
- Difficulty Being Present: You struggle to stay engaged with what you’re currently doing because your mind is always focused on how it’ll turn out in the end.
- Procrastination or Paralyzing Fear: The fear of not getting the desired result sometimes makes it hard to start or continue working toward the goal, fearing the “what ifs.”
- Disregard for Small Wins: You don’t take time to celebrate little successes along the way because your mind is set on the ultimate goal.
If you struggle with the points listed above, here are 10 efficient ways to stop obsessing over the outcome;
1. Live in the Present
Staying grounded in the present moment helps you let go of future worries. Instead of focusing on where you want to be, tune into where you are right now. Take things day by day, moment by moment. Enjoy the little things that make up each day, and you’ll find that your mind stops drifting to the end goal as much.
2. Avoid Excessive Daydreaming
While it’s okay to imagine success, constantly daydreaming about the end result can lead to disappointment when things don’t go exactly as planned. Instead, limit the amount of time you spend envisioning outcomes. Try focusing on the steps you can take today rather than the grand finale. Small steps forward make a big difference over time.
3. Plan and Do
Planning is essential, but don’t stop there! The real value is in taking action. A well-thought-out plan that you put into motion gives you something concrete to focus on rather than getting lost in what could happen. By moving forward with practical steps, you’ll feel more in control and less obsessed with how things will ultimately turn out.
4. Express Gratitude
Gratitude is a great way to shift your focus from what’s missing to what you already have. When you appreciate the present moment and the good things in your life, it becomes easier to let go of worries about the future. Try writing down a few things you’re grateful for each day. It can help center you and remind you of the positive aspects of your journey, no matter where you’re headed.
5. Embrace the Possibility of Different Outcomes
It’s natural to have a specific outcome in mind, but being too attached can lead to disappointment. Instead, try to stay open to other possibilities. Life often surprises us in positive ways, even if things don’t unfold exactly as planned. Accepting that different outcomes can still be good ones can relieve a lot of pressure.
6. Do Not Over-Pressure Yourself
Putting too much pressure on yourself to succeed can lead to stress and exhaustion. Remember, it’s okay to pace yourself. You don’t have to reach the finish line right away. Set realistic goals, take breaks, and remember that it’s fine to go at a pace that feels right for you. This approach will help you stay engaged and energized without the anxiety of “getting there” as fast as possible.
7. Set “Process Goals” Instead of “Outcome Goals”
Process goals focus on actions rather than results. For example, if you’re training for a race, a process goal could be “run three times a week” instead of “finish in the top 10.” Process goals keep you focused on what you can control and provide a sense of accomplishment along the way. When you measure success by your actions, you’re less likely to fixate on a specific outcome.
8. Limit Your “What If” Thoughts
“What if” thoughts can spiral quickly, leading to unnecessary worry. Ask yourself if thinking about all the possible scenarios is actually helping or just adding stress. Try focusing on the next step you can take today rather than every possible future. When you catch yourself in a “what if” cycle, bring your attention back to the present moment.
9. Remember: You’re Stronger Than You Think
Sometimes we obsess over the outcome because we doubt our ability to handle things if they don’t go as planned. Remind yourself of times when you’ve overcome challenges before. Trust in your resilience and ability to adapt. You’re stronger and more capable than you may realize, and this inner strength will carry you through, no matter the outcome.
10. Celebrate Small Wins Along the Way
Reward yourself for progress, no matter how small it may seem. Celebrating these moments keeps you motivated and allows you to enjoy the journey. Every little win brings you closer to your goal, and recognizing them helps you stay focused on the process instead of obsessing over the end result.
Final Thoughts
Learning to let go of outcome obsession is about finding peace in the journey, trusting yourself, and appreciating each moment for what it brings. By living in the present, focusing on actionable steps, and giving yourself room to breathe, you can enjoy the process and reduce the stress of waiting for specific results. Embrace each day as it comes, and you’ll feel lighter, more resilient, and ready for whatever the journey holds!
Finally, remind yourself that you are capable of handling whatever comes your way. Even if things don’t work out, you have the strength, creativity, and resilience to find new solutions, try again, or move on to something even better.
Trust yourself and the journey you’re on. By letting go of the obsession with outcomes, you allow yourself to enjoy life more fully and face challenges with a calm, open mind. The journey itself becomes a reward, bringing you more peace, confidence, and joy along the way.
