Relationships can be exciting and full of potential, but let’s be honest not every connection is built to last. Sometimes, you know from the beginning that the relationship isn’t destined for marriage but because of certain benefits you might tend to remain in the relationship.
These benefits may be financial, emotional etc but trying to use someone to your benefit while leaving them in the dark is narcissistic behaviour. We too, have to look at ourselves and identify what wrongs we’re doing. That’s the only way the world can get better.
My intention is not to scare you but iff you’re not planning to take a man seriously, it’s essential to set boundaries to avoid unfortunate situations. The only time you should enjoy the things being given to you is if you’ve made the relationship status clear to him and he doesnt mind spoiling you.
A short story…
If you aren’t yet convinced, let me tell you a short story (You can skip to the main points if you are indeed convinced). I know of a very beautiful lady who dated this man, this man loved and wanted to marry her irrespective of her health status that no one knew about (she had an std). Yes you can guess where this story is going, but let me finish. He invested so much time, effort and money on her thinking the relationship will lead to marriage. Her education and siblings education were sponsored by him, he also sponsored her businesses, trips, rent etc. He was her sole provider. When time came for marriage, she blatantly refused and decided to date another person richer than him. Of course he wasnt having it. He felt betrayed and so tried to tell everyone of her illness but unfortunately, people didnt care so he decided to take matters into his own hands. He sneaked into the apartment her, the very one he had paid for for several years and strangled this lady. And guess what, her new boyfriend was framed for the murder. Let me end the story here!
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Here are five things you should never let a man do in these situations.
1. Never Let Him Buy You a House
Sure, it might sound like a dream come true—a man offering to buy you a house. But unless you’re ready to build a long-term future with him, this is a recipe for disaster. Accepting such a significant gift creates a sense of obligation and emotional attachment that’s hard to walk away from without someone getting hurt. Plus, if things end, there’s the messy question of ownership and who’s entitled to what.
Instead, keep things simple. Enjoy the relationship for what it is, and leave the major financial commitments off the table. A healthy boundary here protects both of you from unnecessary complications.
2. Don’t Let Him Invest Too Much in Your Career or Business
Support is great, but there’s a line between cheering you on and footing the bill for your dreams. If you know deep down that you don’t see a future with this man, don’t let him pour his hard-earned money into your career or business ventures. It’s one thing for him to share advice or encouragement, but financial contributions can lead to resentment if the relationship doesn’t last.
Remember, accepting such support ties him to your success in a way that might feel suffocating—for both of you. Be upfront about your intentions and make it clear that while you appreciate his interest, your career is your responsibility.
3. Never Join Bank Accounts
Joining bank accounts is a serious step that ties two lives together financially. If you’re not planning to take this man seriously, keep your finances separate—period. Mixing money can lead to misunderstandings, disagreements, and even legal complications if the relationship ends abruptly.
By maintaining financial independence, you’re protecting both yourself and him from potential drama. It’s much easier to enjoy a lighthearted relationship when money isn’t a point of contention.
4. Don’t Let Him Meet Your Family (Unless It’s Casual)
Introducing someone to your family sends a strong signal that you see them as a significant part of your life. If you’re not serious about him, think twice before making those introductions. Families often get emotionally invested, and it can be awkward to explain why someone they thought was “the one” is no longer in the picture.
If you do bring him around, keep it casual. Avoid big family gatherings or moments that might make him feel like he’s being groomed for a permanent role in your life. Transparency is key here—make sure he knows where he stands.
5. Never Make Him Your Go-To for Major Life Decisions
It’s easy to lean on someone who’s supportive, but relying too much on a man for guidance on big life choices can blur the lines of your relationship. If you don’t see him as a long-term partner, avoid making him the person you turn to for every major decision. This creates an emotional dependency that’s tough to disentangle later.
Instead, rely on your close friends, family, or a trusted mentor for advice. Keeping this boundary ensures you maintain independence and prevents unnecessary heartache.
6. Don’t Let Him Sacrifice His Goals for You
A man who’s willing to compromise his dreams to make you happy might sound romantic, but it’s a red flag if you’re not equally invested in the relationship. Letting someone put their ambitions on hold for you when you know you’re not in it for the long haul can lead to regret and bitterness on both sides.
Encourage him to prioritize his own goals and aspirations, just as you’re doing for yourself. Mutual respect means being honest about your intentions and not allowing him to make sacrifices you’re not ready to reciprocate.
Final Thoughts
Honesty and boundaries are the foundation of any healthy relationship, even if it’s not meant to last. By avoiding these pitfalls, you’re not only protecting yourself but also showing respect for the other person’s time, energy, and emotions. Casual relationships can be enjoyable and fulfilling when both people are on the same page. So, set clear expectations, communicate openly, and keep things simple!
