“When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable.”
Madeleine L’Engle
Vulnerability is a skill that requires a lot of courage and trust which is the hardest thing to do. While often seen as a weakness, it is actually a powerful tool for building deeper connections with others and ourselves. To be vulnerable means to be fragile in a way that requires strength.
As someone who has gone through a lot in life, lost loved ones and dealt with failures. I became so rigid to the point; I found it hard to let anyone into my life, or know anything about me. I mastered the art of detachment ( avoidant attachment) but deep down I knew that if I wanted to have trusting relationships with people I love, connect and contribute positively to the world, I would have to let my guard down a little. You cannot receive without giving…
In this post, I have carefully outlined everything I understood on my journey when learning the art of vulnerability. Join me!
What is vulnerability?
Vulnerability is about being open and honest about our feelings, experiences, and even our weaknesses. It’s when we let down our guard and allow others to see who we truly are, beyond any “perfect” image we might try to project. Its about being warm, transparent, and fluid with the people we love and who love us.
At its core, vulnerability is a natural part of being human. It’s what makes us relatable and allows others to see our genuine selves. Instead of hiding behind masks of perfection or trying to avoid judgment, vulnerability is about stepping into the world with our authentic selves, flaws and all. This openness can sometimes make us feel exposed or uncertain, but it also creates a space for real connection.
What does it mean to be vulnerable?
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean sharing everything with everyone or disregarding our boundaries. Instead, it’s about being honest with ourselves and choosing to share our thoughts and feelings with those we trust. This openness can be challenging, especially if we fear rejection, but it also creates room for personal growth and deeper relationships.
Vulnerability is also not always about speaking or expressing ourselves. It has to do with the way we act in the presence of people we trust. It is understand
Why vulnerability matters
Vulnerability is essential because it’s the foundation for genuine human connection. When we open up and share our true selves, we build trust and closeness with others. Vulnerability invites others to do the same, creating relationships based on understanding, empathy, and honesty. Without vulnerability, our relationships might stay surface-level, missing out on the deeper connections that make life truly meaningful. There are a few more point below on why vulnerability matters;
Deeper Connections: When we share our vulnerabilities, we create a space for others to do the same. This fosters empathy and understanding, leading to stronger relationships.
Increased Authenticity: By being vulnerable, we can shed our masks and present ourselves as we truly are. This authenticity attracts genuine connections.
Enhanced Self-Awareness: Exploring our vulnerabilities can help us understand ourselves better. It allows us to confront our fears and insecurities, leading to personal growth.
Resilience: Overcoming vulnerability can build resilience. Each time we face our fears, we become stronger.
Builds admiration: Sometimes what you are so ashamed of is someone else’s motivation. The confidence to trust in yourself enough too not be fazed by insecurities is an admirable and unique quality.
How and when to embrace Vulnerability
Embracing vulnerability is not about sharing everything with everyone. Instead, it’s about being selective, intentional, and genuine in your openness. Here are a few practical steps to start embracing vulnerability:
- Recognize Your Insecurities and Fears: Begin by being truthful with yourself about your fears and insecurities. Recognizing these emotions is the first step in facing them, whether they be fear of failure, rejection, or criticism.
- Develop self-compassion: Feelings of inadequacy might be revealed by vulnerability. You can be kind and compassionate with your flaws when you practice self-compassion. Keep in mind that nobody is flawless.
- Get Started Small: It’s not necessary for you to reveal everything at once or reveal everything at all. Start by telling a trusted person a little bit about yourself when you need to and at the right time. This helps you test if people can handle what you tell them before you can eventually trust them with more serious matters.
- Determine People and Safe Spaces: Trust is necessary for vulnerability. The individuals you can be vulnerable with are those in your life who understand and support you.
Now that you do know how to embrace vulnerability, you might ask; Liz, when is the right time to be vulnerable or must I be vulnerable all the time?
No! You mustn’t be vulnerable all the times and or with everyone. Self control is crucial when opening up to people especially if you are someone who is vulnerable to everyone. There are moments when you should be vulnerable listed below:
- In Relationships: Sharing fears and insecurities with loved ones fosters trust and builds deeper connections. You must first make sure that you trust these people to not judge, say or do things that are inherently bad.
- During Emotional Overload: Opening up about emotions can provide relief, inviting support and reducing feelings of isolation.
- Vulnerability in Professional Settings: Being honest about challenges creates a collaborative environment, encouraging creativity and trust among team members.
- Vulnerability for Personal Growth: Admitting limitations and seeking improvement leads to self-awareness and personal development.
- For Healing or when you need help desperately: Sharing past experiences can be therapeutic, offering closure and support to oneself and others.
- To Express Love: Sharing gratitude and love strengthens bonds and creates memorable moments in relationships.
The other side of the tunnel
The other side of the tunnels includes negative feelings and situations that can be associated with vulnerability; these may include regret, withdrawal, shame, defensiveness and so one. There are dangerous people in this world that pretend to be trustworthy, trustworthy people may change and relationships might dissolve but what do you you we situations like this. How are we supposed to be vulnerable again? How do we trust once more?
Before we become vulnerable, we have to build confidence and be stoic. Accept the things we cannot change and prevent, be strong and fluid. Strong enough to face whatever disappointments that life may throw at us and fluid enough to change, look for solutions and prevent it from repeating itself.
Final Thoughts
The secret to embracing vulnerability is striking a balance between resilience and openness. Vulnerability fosters real connection, trust, and development, but it also calls for a certain level of power to overcome any obstacles. We may be open and true to ourselves, prepared to cultivate meaningful connections while remaining resilient and grounded, by developing our inner confidence and flexibility.
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