Priority; the fact or condition of being regarded or treated as more important than others. The opposite of priority; inconsequent, inconsequential. lacking worth or importance. If you want to relate to the first definition, if at all you have the desire to respected, valued and placed at a high standard, then please read this article to the end.
We all want to feel valued and respected, but sometimes we let ourselves be treated as an afterthought. The reality of being an afterthought has a great effect on our lives. The life you end up having, opportunities presented or experiences greatly depends on how you carry yourself in this world.
The truth is, being a priority starts with how we treat ourselves. Stoicism teaches practical ways to live with confidence, dignity, and self-worth. These ideas are simple to learn, timeless, and perfect for building a life where you’re never just an option. Let’s go!!!
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1. Prioritize Yourself and Your Well-Being
Your happiness and peace of mind come first always. You cannot pour from an empty cup. If you’re constantly putting others’ needs above your own, you send the message that your well-being doesn’t matter. You will get drained, used and these people may not even appreciate your efforts at the end of the day especially when you can’t do anything for them anymore, you are not being selfish. Self-care is essential for living a virtuous and meaningful life. Take time to care your mental, physical, financial and spiritual wel-being.
2. Do Not Entertain People or Things That Don’t Respect You
Respect is non-negotiable. If someone doesn’t value you, it’s not your job to prove your worth. Epictetus, a Stoic philosopher, said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” If someone’s actions show they don’t respect you, walk away. Entertaining disrespect only lowers your standards and drains your energy. The right people will appreciate you without you having to fight for their attention.
3. Set Boundaries Like Your Peace Depends on It (Because It Does)
Healthy boundaries are the cornerstone of self-respect. When you allow others to cross your limits, you send the message that it’s okay to overlook your needs. Boundaries are not about pushing people away; they’re about creating space for mutual respect.
4. Don’t Chase, Let People Earn Their Spot in Your Life
It’s tempting to chase love, friendships etc, hoping others will finally see how great you are. But here’s the truth: real respect and love are never forced. Instead of running after people, focus on building yourself. Spend time developing your skills, following your passions, and creating a life you’re proud of. When you’re confident and self-assured, you naturally attract the right people into your life. Remember, you’re a prize, not a consolation.
5. Choose Quality Over Quantity in Relationships
Seneca, a well-known Stoic, believed in surrounding yourself with people who inspire and support you. He said, “Associate with those who will make a better person of you.” It’s better to have a few genuine connections than a crowd of superficial ones. Look for people who value your time, uplift you, and align with your values. Only those who value you should have a seat at your table.
6. Silence Speaks Louder Than Words
Not every situation or person deserves your reaction. Staying calm and silent in the face of disrespect is often more powerful than confronting it. If someone treats you like an option, instead of arguing or begging for their attention, step back. Your silence shows strength and self-respect. It also gives you time to reflect on whether that relationship is worth your energy.
7. Focus on What You Can Control
You can’t control how others treat you, but you can control how you respond. If someone undervalues you, don’t waste energy trying to change their mind. Instead, focus on your feelings towards that person. Do you feel disrespected,unomfortable with that person more than 50% of the time. If yes, then you know what to do.
8. Be Selective With Your Time
Time is your most valuable resource—treat it like gold. Don’t waste your energy on people who don’t appreciate it. Instead, spend your time with yourself and people who contribute positively to your life.
9. Align Your Actions With Your Values
Your values define who you are. The Stoics emphasized living in harmony with your principles as a way to find true happiness. If loyalty, honesty, or kindness are important to you, make sure your actions reflect those values. At the same time, surround yourself with people who share and respect your values. When you live authentically, you naturally attract others who prioritize and respect you.
10. Be Patient and Trust the Process
The whole concept of self development doesnt happen overnight, patience is key to achieving anything meaningful. Trust that by focusing on your growth, setting boundaries, and staying true to yourself, you’ll create the relationships and life you deserve. Don’t rush the process or settle for less just to feel valued temporarily. The right people and opportunities will come at the right time and when you’re aligned with your true worth.
If you wonder why you may be see as an option, please read this also.
10 Reasons Why You’re Seen as an Option, Not a Priority
Final Thoughts
Being a priority starts with how you treat yourself. When you value your time, energy, and self-respect, others will follow suit. The Stoic methods of prioritizing your well-being, setting boundaries, and focusing on your growth are timeless tools for building a life where you’re never just an option. Remember, you deserve relationships and situations that honor your worth—and you have the power to create that reality. Start today.
