The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
Nelson Mandela
Stoicism has won the hearts of many, mainly because it provides stable and moderate strategies to live life in a more meaningful way. It is not a religion and does not go against any religion. Understanding stoicism is understanding that life can be lived in a virtuous and rational way.
The yin and yang are two complementary concepts of ancient Chinese philosophy that represents dual forces of the universe. In the idea of this article proposes the theory that ‘appointments’ will not occur if ‘disappointments’ does not exist. For good to exist, evil also has to exist. I’m sure we all know this.
Disappointments sometimes are inevitable, it is the way we pick ourselves from these setbacks that make us who we are. That is how we become stronger, wiser and better. In this article, I provide ten ways to deal with disappointments as a stoic woman.
1. Allow yourself to feel the pain
Stoicism encourages healthy processing of emotions instead of the suppression of emotions. When you experience disappointment, it’s essential to allow yourself to feel the pain instead of pretending it doesn’t exist. Recognize the emotional effect without allowing it to overcome you and even if it does overcome you for a moment, the power to understand that you can always bring yourself back is what keep you in check. In addition to providing you with the room to think things through, this stage is essential for emotional recovery. So go into your room, cry, scream and do whatever you need to do to feel them pain and come out stronger.
2. Focus on what you can control
Stoic philosophy emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between what we can control and what we cannot. Disappointments often result from events outside of our control, like other people’s actions or external circumstances. By focusing on how you respond to these events, rather than trying to change what cannot be changed, you reclaim your personal power.
3. Reframe the situation
Instead of seeing disappointment as a bad outcome, reframe it as a learning experience. Ask yourself: What can I gain from this experience? In what way does this strengthen me? How does this affect me positively? Turning setbacks into chances for personal improvement is possible when you change your perspective from one of loss to progress.
4. Limit expectation
Expectations that are too high are a common cause of disappointment. By limiting those unrealistic expectations, you reduce the chances of being let down. This doesn’t mean expecting the worst or settling for mediocre things, but rather having a realistic and flexible approach to outcomes. A Stoic woman knows that outcomes are uncertain, she works hard and puts herself in places where she can achieve the best but is also prepared to face any result with composure. She believes highly in herself and can differentiate between wishful thinking and strategizing for the best possible outcomes.
5. Detach yourself from the why
When we’re disappointed, we frequently ask ourselves, “Why did this happen?” While knowing why something happened might be useful, it’s equally critical to avoid becoming obsessed with the solution. Give up trying to figure out why things happened and come to terms with the fact that not everything can be explained or made fair. Mental clarity and emotional freedom are made possible by this distance.
6. Give your self a specified timeline to recuperate
While it’s normal to need time to recover and break down setbacks, it’s also critical that you set time limits for your own personal grieving. Give yourself a specific time frame to process the disappointment and deal with the emotions. After this period, commit to moving forward, knowing that you’ve allowed yourself the time to heal without letting it get in the way of your goals.
7. Continue with your daily activities
After experiencing a setback, it’s tempting to isolate yourself or become lazy and/or inactive. Still, carrying on with your normal routine is one of the best methods to heal. If you were working on something, keep working on it and if you were just going to the gym, don’t stop going. As long as you still have something to do, keep doing it. Maintaining a sense of routine and control is helpful as it enables you to have a sense of normalcy. It also serves as a reminder that life goes on and serves as a distraction from brooding on unpleasant emotions.
8. Persevere and Remember the bigger picture
Often, disappointment is only a little portion of a greater adventure. Those who practice stoicism view obstacles and failures as temporary and insignificant in the greater scheme of life. When faced with a setback, keep in mind your goals, values, and purpose. Knowing that one setback does not define your entire journey allows you to keep going forward.
9. Cultivate inner strength
Every setback offers a chance to strengthen one’s inner strength. See disappointment as an opportunity to strengthen your emotional and mental fortitude rather than something to avoid or be afraid of. A stoic lady accepts obstacles in life as a necessary part of her personal development since she knows they will test her resilience. Resolving disappointment strengthens your inner fortitude and gets you ready for new challenges.
10. Acknowledge the power within you
Stoic philosophy is based on the idea that an individual has control and autonomy over their thoughts. You are always in control of your ideas, feelings, and behavior, regardless of the outside circumstances. Recognize your inner resilience and capacity to overcome hardship when confronted with disappointment. You can overcome brief setbacks and take back control of your life with the help of this realization.
Closing remarks
By adopting these steps, you will be able to deal with disappointments with courage while cultivating a mindset of resilience, growth and inner peace. You will emerge from all life’s challenges once you put your mind to it. With this I say, Adios!
